I am quite sick of being unsure. Sure, I'm sure that this is a growing experience; I can't trust God completely if my whole life is planned out already. But this whole drifting business is really quite draining. I'm worried I'll make the wrong decision, but I need to make a decision. I feel rushed, but this is a life-guiding, life-altering, life-determining choice.
Being at campt makes it hard, too. I can't deal with SM stuff well enough from here. I have to split it up - camp by day, SM emails and searching by night. It's like a Gospel version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
For someone who hates/deliberates decisions ad nauseum, this is not exactly the recommended route. *sigh* (Psalms 42:11)
I have much to be thankful for.
I want this decision to be for God's will, not mine, but worry that my will is getting in the way. If there is to be a clear "no," I need it soon. I'm now considering going for Tanzania and going to school if it falls through.
I Thess. 5:16-18: That's God's will for me.
I Tim 1:12: Thanks for the appointment.
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