Is God calling me to do something that I'm uncomfortable with? Or am I simply entertaining the idea of Holland because I know it will work??? MAA excites me; Holland scares me. Terrifies me. Petrifies me. Am I a Jonah running from the islands?
This world is not my home!! But can't I still be happy here? I attribute happiness and bubbliness and energy to my character; when it's gone, I feel like I'm gone, like I'm a liar. I hate lying almost as much as I hate not-knowing.