Monday, February 14, 2011

It's 8:30 and we just finished a 1-hr meeting that could have been summed up in 10 minutes. My ankles are wet from a puddle and my ponytail is drooping from the rain. I'm tired. And I'm supervising a empty computer lab for the next hour, though no one will come.

If I weren't here, I could at least be in the girls' dorm tutoring my regular Physics and Algebra students. But since it's Monday, and only boys can come to the computer lab/library on Monday, I'm stuck here doing nothing. I hate that we get stuck in the "fair" and "how so" rut. It's only fair that the computer lab is open each night for an hour. There must be so many supervisors for so many students. I sat in the yearbook room doing nothing but sitting for two hours simply because the yearbook editor is a boy and the layout designer for the Junior Vespers spread is a girl. Really? Is that the best use of anyone's time?

I often feel as though our faculty is an every man for himself group. "*I* don't need to show up to that meeting." "Sorry, it's my weekend off; learn how to facilitate this activity." I realize that there is a line to be drawn between work and home, but sometimes I feel as though I shouldn't ask for favors, and that I shouldn't give them. I HATE that. I love giving favors. I love helping people. But even more than that, I love to conform. No, I don't like conforming; but I tend to do it anyway. I conform to the non-favoring, non-sacrificing trends. If people around me are giving, I am giving, too. If people around me are hoarding, I stop giving and try to figure out why it's such a taboo topic.

Ok. One boy came. But only to use the phone.

I'm tired. I'm grumpy. And I can't figure out if any of this note really holds true. I hope not.

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