Wednesday, March 23, 2011

T-Minus 10 Weeks Thoughts

I'm tired of complaining and getting positive feedback.What a Debbie Downer! Not.

I'm tired of venting my frustrations and being met with,
"It'll be fine."
"It's no big deal."
"Worse has happened."
or, worst yet,
"Well, look at the bad things happening in my life..."

I don't need that.

Sometimes, I need to be angry.
I need to be frustrated.
I need to be grumpy.
I need to be fed up.
Most of all, I need the reasons behind these feelings to be validated.

I don't need someone to belittle my foes; even if I'm fighting an army of toy soldiers, it's still my army to overcome. Telling me it's "no big deal" doesn't help me rise up and conquer. I believe that we are matched to our enemies and trials; if you tell me my Great Wall is a sandcastle with seashell drawbridge, you reduce me to a diapered, stick-wielding fool. When you tell me I'm making too much fuss over something, you label me a wuss. And I hate feeling like a wuss.

When you belittle my foes, you belittle me.

Stop it.

I'm struggling. All I need is to know that it's ok to struggle, that what I'm doing is difficult. When I feel challenged, I want to know that I'm facing a challenge. Don't tell me it's not hard. Don't tell me I shouldn't feel this way. Don't tell me that this is nothing compared to what so-and-so faced.

I'll believe you.
And it won't help anything.

Let me be angry. Let me be tired. Let me frown.
I'll get over it.

...and I'll be better for it.

1 comment:

kessia reyne said...

Maybe that's why the psalms are full of frowning and upsetness-- because even in 850BC people couldn't help but say, "Oh, you think that's bad? One time when I was halfway to Gath..." And God seems to be really good at just listening. I like that about Him.

And you have my permission to be angry,
and to frown,
and to be tirrrrrrrred.