Friday, August 27, 2010

Heavenly HOMEsick

By the end of the Friday, I was plum tuckered out. I attempted to nap for a half-hour before vespers. (For future reference, do not attempt to nap in the hour before vespers on the other side of a girls' dorm bathroom door. Ever. You will fail.) Vespers was simply a detailed explanation of the new and improved (and confusing) worship service to follow the next morning; not much of the Sabbath blessing I was searching for. Vespers was followed by Faculty Families - each student "belongs" to the home of one of the faculty, with the SMs being one family - and by the time I could hit the hay, I was overexhausted. Everything started hitting me at once: the new names, the new faces, the new schedule, the new jobs, the new expectations, the new everything. New.

I'm tired of giving! I want to keep some! [But it was never yours to keep.] I want my routine! I want my niche! I want my surroundings! I want my circle. I want my kamikaze bear hugs. I want to stop learning new things. I want to stop meeting new people. What I want most?? I want to stop being unhappy. [It's OK to be unhappy. I created emotions! I share in your unhappiness. You don't have to - and cannot - be happy all the time. Admit your unhappiness and let Me wipe away your tears. Be HOMEsick with Me, for Me, because of Me. I love you.]

My eyes finally closed and I woke up to Sabbath morning.

**NOTE: Don't be concerned, guys. I really truly am feeling better. Quite cheerful and bubbly, actually! God knows just how to send a pick-me-up when you need it! Read Sabbath's post to see how big my pick-me-up was.

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