Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Journal Entry

I'm tired of trying to prove myself. I have to fight to be right (or, at least, heard to be right) and fight to be useful. Everyone wants to be useful, and I'm not good at creating jobs. I don't like being a leader, but I also don't like being bossed around. If I need instruction, I'll ask.

I selfishly want someone to think I'm special. I know people here care about me, but I want to be the most special to someone here. Is that selfish, or normal? I think that's why so many missionaries are married.
And why don't I let fellow SMs be my special one? Am I just too picky, or would it be forcing a friendship?

I'm afriad of anything good, because if it's too good, I'm afraid I'll lose it.

I feel far from You here. I should tak You as my special someone, but it's hard. I feel mopey. I'm a two=week Puddleglum. Help me out of my funk.

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